All of us are stepping out over the precipice of our comfort zone by taking on that next new client or that next new skill set or tool. New trainees are in anguish at having to somehow invite clients into their brand new practice. There is so much uncertainty in their professional career. They feel so vulnerable to rejection, and more devastatingly, they are vulnerable to their own self-talk. Self-criticism and self-loathing are strategies we implement to avoid being okay with being with uncertainty when we don’t know what the heck we are doing.
Simple pointers to empower you to be in alignment with your commitments – making a difference in people’s lives.
Every so often I have a run of issues that tie into one fundamental human impasse. I have one of those “Ah-HA!” moments, than share it with Todd and my trainees saying “This is THE fundamental human issue, that if we listen for and speak to it in transformational coaching will create effortless shifts. If we get this you’ll have this coaching thing down!” Here’s what’s seems to be the essential issue of late.
Hello Dr. Rosie,
It feels nice to read these articles as I feel I’m not alone in pursuing dreams that are different from what I earlier set out for. Here’s my question: How can handling money be shifted from a distressing situation to a de-stressing one?
From Dr. Rosie:
Thanks for your presence and your questions. You bring so much to this column with your sharing of what’s unfolding for you.
The easiest way to shift handling money from distressing to de-stressing is to shift how you think about money and then create new actions in alignment with these new thoughts. Here are some examples of what many of us think in regard to money:Money is hard to come by; You have to work really hard for money; Money is the root of all evil; I can’t have money if I’m spiritual; People who have money are unkind – I don’t want to be like them; If I make more money than my dad it will make him look bad; As a woman, having money will make me independent and men don’t like independent women, so I don’t want to make money. These are just a small sample of what goes through our minds when we think about money. All of these statements are distressing, and none of them are true – we just made them up!
7am on the Redeye ferry from Orcas to the mainland. Springtime makes my feet want to root themselves in the earth. It is not a time to go gallivanting around to more beautiful places – they can’t be found. Birds, trees in bloom – everything’s in bloom. After 6 months of winter’s darkness in the Pacific Northwest, Mother Nature births us all over again to be her eyes, her ears, her sensing bodies in service to absorbing the beauty and the light that arrives with this season.
I’m not an intrepid individual, really.
I leave the Island every month, somewhat troubled about whether I’ll return. While in my 40’s, I left Nova Scotia and my 10 year love affair with God’s Country of the East Coast. It broke my heart, for although I planned on possibly returning to my home on the edge of the sea, there was a sense of uncertainty that I’d have to face. As it turned out, aside from one visit back I’ve never returned.
Expanding the edges of my comfort zone to accept that uncertainty and faith are constant companions is the practice that will never end. And, empowering and inspiring people to expand their capacity to be with uncertainty and to step into the next adventure – this too will never end.
Dear Dr. Rosie
Interestingly enough, I’m in a similar situation as Veronica and Usha. I’m looking to change careers after many years as a nurse. I want to go back to school but am being financially taken care of as long as I stay in my current nursing position. The other very real issue that comes up when I think I want to commit to a certain path is that I begin to doubt that this is really what is correct for my spiritual path. . . . Will this just reinforce the ego and distract me or should I accept things as they are and continue from here?
I really enjoy your writing. Thanks!
From Dr. Rosie:
As human beings we have a very complex, multidimensional world to live into. We have our physical needs, our emotional needs and our spiritual need – all of which call for equal attention. Balancing our spiritual well-being with our physical and emotional well-being is quite a practice. It’s the foundation of the work I do with all of my corporate, and individual clients; to cultivate not only awareness of their whole being but to empower them to practice being present to and acting in alignment with all of themselves.
Dear Dr. Rosie,
Here I am in my fifties and I’m now just finally feeling passionate about my work. I was in the field of special education for 30 years and though I loved it I never felt completely fulfilled. I think I was supposed to feel fulfilled and so I just kept at it. Due to many contributing factors I was not invited back to teach. Though disappointing, this gave me an opportunity to really do some deep soul searching to discover and recognize what’s mine to do.
I’ve always loved creating but never until now considered being a graphic artist. I’ve had to start from the beginning by taking courses at the local community college. I’m half way through my degree and am anxious to get started. I’m in a very similar place as Usha. I can really relate to her story. What should I do next?
From Dr. Rosie:
I’m really glad to hear that even after all these years you are willing to keep your heart open to what feels passionate to you. It’s happening more and more that women and men are willing to take risks, exploring what’s possible by following their passion. I believe by doing so you model for others that living a fulfilling life means less stress, more ease and more joy in the world. Thanks for being one of those people.
Hi Dr. Kuhn,
Your articles light up my day! They are kind of answering the next hurdle I’m facing.
I read your most recent write up Start to Finish about your mother not working for a living and being taken care of, and that you wanted that lifestyle too. I totally relate to this. My mother is a homemaker and I imagined that I always wanted to work. However, I found that when opportunities came I just didn’t go for it. I think I always wanted to be taken care of financially. Now, I want to get out of this comfort zone and I’m committed to making it happen.
How do I do this and keep myself afloat? I don’t know if the feeling of being able to take care of myself financially will make me feel empowered but this is what’s driving me. There are times when no one turns up for my yoga class. I’m so discouraged when this happens. At other times, people call and ask for my support. This feels so fulfilling! This is such a dilemma! I worry about whether I can make it over time; will students come?; the bottom line: How will I earn a living? I’ll be receiving my certificate in July and will then begin charging for my yoga classes. Will this work? Please help!
P.S., I like the way you write. It motivates me to take another step ahead and feel closer to my goal of being empowered (financially).
From Dr. Rosie
Thanks Usha for your letter.
Usha has lots of questions and I suspect she is providing herself with a lot of answers that aren’t answers at all but only potential “what ifs” that, more often than not, create worry and anxiousness. So many of us cultivate scenarios in our minds to counter the “I don’t know if I can do this”; “I don’t know if people will come”; “I don’t know if there’ll be enough money.” These “I don’t knows” are part of every endeavor we take on, and, are probably the most important challenge to face. What would you have to be with, Usha, if you empowered yourself to stay present in the moment with the “I don’t know?”
The “Essential Self” is the current condition of centuries (life times) of evolution of the individual Soul. Authentic, unrestrained, unconditional, and unfiltered expression of our this true self in each and every moment is critical to the un-concealing of and alignment with our “Essential Self.”
Transformational coaching not only cultivates awareness of the Essential Self it also has a listening that reveals this Self in a way that elevates its significance to primary. When an individual begins to tap into their Essential Self, they are inspired to uncover more and more as the quality of experience that arises from authentic living feels generative and profoundly empowering by nature. In the end the True Self will accept the Essential Self as home. The divisive constructs of our culture slowly evaporate allowing effortless expansion and actualization of our Oneness to continue.
Training to be a transformational coach is an intensive in cultivating intelligence through self-study, deep listening and the practice of curiosity. Every aspect of of Life – including Business, Health, Spirituality and Relationship is responsive to the foundational practices found within a transformational coach.
Currently, individual training is facilitated by Dr. Rosie Kuhn. If you have an interest in talking with Rosie about the process of becoming a transformational coach, contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org
For more information on what is a transformational coach go to: What-is-Coaching