Transcending and Transformation Require a Paradigm Shift
An embodied memory arose last night. The memory was of being at the pool when I was ten years old. Cold after swimming, with a towel wrapped tightly around myself, I stood alone, shivering. Throngs of people were around me, but I was isolated and frozen. Nowhere to go, no one to be with. I sank deep into an abyss from which I believed I would never transcend. —- As coaches, therapists, spiritual healers and the like, though we are aware of the depths of experience the majority of our clients carry, we do not realize that in order for
Spiritual Immersion-My Personal Story
Spiritual Immersion “ Taking the Plunge Podcast As I announced last month, I have a new podcast dedicated to Spiritual Immersions & guiding people to take the plunge themselves. Here’s a part of the transcript from Episode 101 describing my personal experience. I hope you enjoy! The Beginning I want to share with you a little bit of my story and what gives me the inspiration to do these podcasts. I’ll also share some of the things that show up for a lot of people as they go through a spiritual immersion process. So, I am 68 years old and
The Fear Virus
I’m not at all afraid of the COVID-19 virus. I’m healthy, I live far away from people and as an introvert, I am happy being reclusive. In my perspective, the virus that is a greater problem in our world is the Fear Virus. It spreads so much more quickly. It’s already worldwise and exceptionally contagious, and it destroys lives in ways that are so much worse than the COVID-19 virus. I don’t know about you, but my life experiences have led me to be highly susceptible to catching fear from others. Some would call it PTSD, but all I know
Quarantined But Not Powerless
With the COVID-19 phenomenon in full swing the world as we know it has turned on it’s axis, at least when it comes to our orientation towards work, money, and the fear that we are going to Hell in a hand-basket! So much of what we’ve focused on, and has been effortlessly available to us, is at least for a while taken out of our reach. Some of us have free time on our hands that we are happy about. Others, not so much. So many of us are home, wondering what to do with ourselves. I hear a lot
What’s Really Happening When Life Gets Scary
Regardless of who you are, the career path you’ve taken, your family, or the spiritual path you are on, inevitably you will meet something really scary and realize that you cannot escape one of our greatest adversaries “ uncertainty. Uncertainty brings up feelings of powerlessness, loss, and vulnerability. It scares us into withdrawing from the growing edge of our life, opting instead to hold back until we feel more brave and confident. In fact, there are numerous circumstances these days that are triggering the experience of uncertainty. The COVID-19 virus pandemic is just the latest, and it’s impacting everything
Life Without Angst? Impossible!
My local newspaper recently asked me to write something that could perhaps reflect some peace amongst all the current public angst that is occurring. What with the COVID-19 and the state of political affairs, we are being pushed to be with ourselves in a way that is very new to so many of us. So I wrote down this conversation, which for me is at the heart of all the angst in the world. A Coaching Session Bob (not his real name) – What do I do with the angst I feel about the really scary situation in our
I Have No Intrinsic Value “ Who Me?
I’ve experienced some really great accomplishments lately, and I feel good about these accomplishments. Now the question is, do I want to do more? All sorts of thoughts rush in before I can even complete the question “ do I want to do more? And the bottom line is this answer, "I don’t know. I’ll have to see what shows up!" The dilemma that arises pits my judgments of myself, based on accomplishments, productivity and proving myself worthy in the world, against my spiritual principles, which distills down to "be fulfilled in expressing love, joy, fun and only do what
Wanting the Stars in My Lap: Manifesting – The Art of Letting Go
I know a lot of people, including me, who want to instantly manifest their desires for wealth and prosperity. There are even tons of books and videos, workshops and presenters that tell you how to do it. The truth is, however, most of us miss the point of the exercise of what’s being taught, so we manifest disappointment, not delight! The book Oneness, received and transcribed by Rasha (2006), provides enormous support in cultivating the capacity to manifest one’s heart’s desire. It virtually says the same thing that every other source of expertise on the subject suggests: To notice and
When Blocked and Frustrated – Let It Be
I finished a painting this past Sunday. That’s nothing new. However I felt like I’d worked hard all weekend. I was exhausted. And come Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I woke up looking forward to a nap! "But there’s so much to do! And I haven’t done enough to deserve a nap!" I admonished to myself. Thursday, however, I awoke with ACISTE PRESENTATION POWER POINT knocking on my brain – trying to get itself onto paper before I was out of bed! (I’m presenting at the upcoming ACISTE Conference next month. This power point presentation had to get completed.) I had
What’s the Point of Doing What You Do?
It would be easy for me to begin this with a litany of all the things I’ve done and do, but really, the point is to say that maybe I’m unwittingly doing more than I have to do. Maybe, I’ve not got my focus or intentions aligned yet. It’s like, no matter where I am on my life and spiritual path, there always appears to be something more to work out. Jeesh! So what’s the point of doing what I’ve been doing? Well, I’ve been writing for over a decade – probably closer to two decades. And most of what
FRIDAY’S FEAST
As I was watering my plants today and thinking about this Live Event, the question that came to mind is this: "What’s the degree to which you are transparent in the world?" Or, "From 0-100, what percentage of your life are you protecting and armoring yourself from being violated?"
Five Reasons Why I Don’t Tell People What to Do
My job as a life coach is to empower people to empower themselves to create a great life. I sometimes tell clients I’m their Fairy Godmother, and that I will empower them to empower themselves to make their dreams come true! Everyone loves this idea. And, they really pay attention to our conversations – for some reason, they pay better attention to their Fairy Godmother than they do to their life coach. When Carmen first started working with me – as her Fairy Godmother, she shared that what she wants to have fun again in her work life and to
Interview with Eric Maisel
I was interviewed by Eric Maisel in 2016 for his Future of Mental Health Series on Psychology Today. This is my take on what Transformational Coaching is and how it differs from psychotherapy. Rosie Kuhn takes the interesting position that coaching is actually more rigorous than therapy, because coaching by it nature demands that the client work and therapy, which focuses on "diagnosing" (which the therapist does) and "treating" (which the therapist does) by definition doesn’t. Naturally this point of view could be hotly disputed; but it is surely a consequence of the current, dominant paradigm of "treating mental disorders with pills and
Hedonism in France? Not Us!
After announcing our June 2019 retreat, the "I’m Giving Up Personal Development" Retreat, I wondered if it sounds as though we are all about hedonism. That we would eat, drink, and mindlessly abuse ourselves to within an inch of our lives. This retreat is just the opposite! Our intention is to mindfully allow the direct and full experience of the kindredness of ourselves with all the glory and beauty life has to offer. On a river boat in France. Because beauty and glory. Did You Know? The research of my PhD dissertation, Sailing As a Transformational Experience, revealed that most
Positive Discipline Part 3
Part 3 – I’ve Never Been Here Before Every morning we wake to a new day – a new version of our children, of our work, our lives, and of ourselves. Truthfully, none of us have been here before. The remarkable reality that surrounds us often gets cluttered with a regiment of rituals, in service to getting through the day with relative ease and grace. Mundane patterns of thinking, seeing and acting fog our senses, and we ignore the true beauty that unfolds eternally before us. I am a Child of Light Growing up, I was constantly shocked and disappointed
Positive Discipline Part 2
Part 2 – I Definitely Have Some Positive Self-Discipline to Do Last month, I shared with you the degree to which I was disciplining my children from unconscious patternings that I didn’t know existed. As a young mother – the woman that I was 35 years ago, I wasn’t considering the long term results of what I was practicing in regard to discipline. I just wanted my children to do what I wanted them to do, when I wanted them to do it. I wasn’t successful, and in their teens our relationship degraded to virtually nothing. They couldn’t wait to
Question Reality – Who Me?
This is not about Network Marketing… what the??? …No, I’m not selling anything-promise! My intention in sharing this blog is to invite you to question your cultural norms – not only regarding business models, but all models of reality that we believe are the “only” models of reality. Just for 5 minutes…ready?….Here we go! 80% Are Unhappy in Their Jobs As a coach I hear quite often that my clients aspire to do what other people are doing, for either the money, the prestige, or the power others seemingly have and my clients want. Life would surely be better
Positive Discipline Part 1
Positive Disciple Starts With Me Positive Discipline is easy when you know your highest intent for disciplining, and you personally practice positive discipline for yourself and for your children. As well, positive discipline is easy when you willingly let go of the need to control, especially when those needs are pretty deep-seated and unconscious. This is not so easy! I’m visiting friends Sara and Kirk in Bali this month. They have an eight year old daughter Hanna, who is brilliant, creative, playful and sociable. Hanna seems to have a pretty positive relationship with herself and the world. I love watching
Healing Me Softly
One of the challenges of being a Transformational Coach, at least for me, is that during sessions, my own unresolved issues are sometimes stirred up by my client’s circumstances. It is as though my clients come to me partly to heal themselves and partly to bring deeper healing to me – healing I didn’t ask for – healing I didn’t even know I needed, but nevertheless am now required to be with! The intention of me sharing this with you is that it is good to know that no matter how much personal work you have done, inevitably, you will
Home from Bali
I’ve been home for a few weeks now from my incredible adventures in Bali. The retreat was wonderful, I met some beautiful new friends, and my time with new and old friends blessed me with what I’ve dubbed "Bali Moments." Bali is a destination that could be easily experienced as beautiful hotels on sandy beaches with a plethora of shops with incredible bargains. It’s very inexpensive to vacation and shop there. However, like any traveling worth the time and energy – at least from my perspective, creating opportunities to experience the essence of Bali is the true adventure. That meant
Having What You Want
I Don’t Know What I Want The most important question, and the initial question, that I pose to any new client when starting a new coaching relationship is, "What is it that you want?" You’d be surprised but more often than not, people are challenged to articulate what they want. More often than not, they have trained themselves to want what they “should” want, or want what other people want. When faced with "what is it that YOU want," their knees go weak and their mind goes foggy and they go into a muddled abyss, not knowing how to answer
Am I Frivolous?
In my most recent session with Mandy, a beautiful and brilliant woman in her mid-thirties, she shared with me that she was thinking seriously about attending the Weaving Heaven and Earth Retreat in Bali. But at the same time, she believed wholeheartedly that spending time and money on such an experience was frivolous. "How can going on excursions into beautiful environments, and talking about how to experience Heaven on Earth contribute to my needs for shelter, food, and clothing? I just can’t wrap my brain around doing something like this. I mean, it sounds fun, but frivolous! Aren’t my survival
No Way-I’m Not Going!
I leave for Bali in a few weeks, and as the time draws nearer I find myself terrified of traveling to a part of the world that I’ve never been before. What comes to mind is "no." What comes to my whole being is an experience of fear and trauma. Part of me wants to back out! It’s too scary!!! I realize that I have a choice in this moment to avoid and ignore the sensations of fear and trauma, or I can explore the source of these sensations and fears. I’ve discovered over time, that to immerse myself in
Who Wants a Boring Life?
It’s been about a month since I’ve written for Orcas Issues. I’m in the midst of preparing for my big adventure to Bali as well as putting together the program for my Retreat – Weaving Heaven and Earth. I’ll tell you, who ever said aging is boring didn’t get it right. The Aging – Who Me? group at the Senior Center has been running for a whole year now. Happy Birthday to us! We have been meeting two Tuesdays a month with pretty much the same 11 participants – with a few leaving and a few joining us. You’d think
On the Wings of Desire
Weaving Heaven and Earth is not just a week-long retreat. It is a way of being, every day of your life. You may not be able to join us in Bali this year, though you desire it greatly. But that doesn’t mean you cannot create Heaven on Earth for yourself at home. The intention for this retreat in beautiful Bali is to cultivate an environment within which each participant can truly realize a paradigm shift. It provides an opportunity to focus on ground zero of one’s orientation in life -in essence: are you focused on a heavenly life on Earth;