I’m angry. Sometimes, like now, I hate my life – not the part where I’m traveling and working internationally; not the part where I’m living on a secluded island that’s considered one of the most beautiful places on Earth; and, not when I’m working with clients that are empowering themselves to live in their brilliant creativeness. I’m angry and hate my life when I can’t have what I want when I want it.
Being on a spiritual path, it’s inevitable that I would come to the realization that I am not in charge – never was and never will be. The ego aspect doesn’t like that one bit. It begins kicking and shouting “I HATE YOU!!!” to God, to the world, well to anyone in earshot.
Cognitively, I’ve known all along, and said out loud and in writing that I’m willing to will God’s will. Well, that’s only when things are going the way I want. I HATE it when God’s will forces me to face and discern the absolute truth in relation to my relative truth – the things I want in the material world. I like saying that I am the eternal presence of Divine Grace. I lack nothing. I need do nothing but follow when divinely led. Being in direct experience with this truth can feel ecstatic. However, the aspect of me that is still entrenched in the consensus reality, linear causality and the like, it does not like giving up the illusion of being in control, which would allow me to believe I can make things happen.
Do I Love My Life?
For years now, I’ve been aware that I wake up in the morning feeling slightly melancholy, with a small degree of anxiousness thrown in for good measure. I’m not depressed, though some might label it so. I just feel uninspired and unmotivated to jump out of bed. I guess the thought that runs parallel to these feelings is: What’s the point of my life for me? Sometimes, it just feels pointless.
I delight when there are stimulations of some sort awaiting me, in which case I anticipate the day with enthusiasm. But when it feels like the “same old same old,” I’m challenged to love my life.
Its easy to judge and assess success and failure based on a context that limits perception of potentiality and possibility. It takes daring to keep your eyes wide open when you take that step into what seems to be the leap! There is so much to see!
I may need to get a job to meet some pressing financial commitments.
Initially, I see this as a failure on my part – that in this spiritual immersion work, I must have avoided or ignored some important step on this journey. Without knowing, perhaps that I took a detour, which has left me stranded on the ocean without a paddle. Somehow, I must have done something wrong.
Security is a wonderful feeling, which all of us seek, yet few of us actually experience fully. Especially with the economic downturn – no one is safe from the potential demise of the current world market.
Almost four years ago, I took myself out of the game, as it were, in order to follow an intuition – a calling, if you will, onto a trajectory that I knew would reap extraordinary rewards that I had not yet even imagined.
In the tarot deck of cards, the Tower is one of twenty-two Major Arcana cards. The image is a large burning tower from which a person falls. Some interpretations say he was thrown off, others say he jumped.
Creating yourself as who you want to be can be anxiety provoking. You have no idea what your fullest potential looks like; it’s all unknown. Are you curious enough to endure anxious moments of not knowing for the sake of finding out? Are you willing to be fierce in your discipline, enough to practice 100% accountability, living into integrity, and aligning your actions with your highest truth? Can you be compassionate enough with yourself through this exploration, to allow yourself to fumble and be humbled by this amazing process of realizing your highest self, highest truth and highest potential? Can you be courageous enough to reach out for handholds, supports and resources that allow your strengths to be experienced by you?
Creating yourself as who you want to be can be anxiety provoking; you have no idea what your fullest potential looks like; it’s all unknown. Are you curious and courageous enough to endure anxious moments of not knowing for the sake of finding out? Are you willing to be fierce in your discipline, enough to practice 100% accountability, living into integrity, and aligning your actions with your highest truth? Can you be compassionate with yourself through this exploration, allowing yourself to fumble and be humbled by this amazing process of realizing your highest self, highest truth and highest potential? Can you be courageous enough to reach out for handholds, supports and resources that allow your strengths to be experienced by you?
Knowing that you are always Oneness, always human, always choice-making, and always in your circumstances, now what? We are immersed in a multidimensional reality, and depending on which domain you focus on, there are conflicting commitments staring you down, at every turn.
Within each Domain, you have a set of beliefs, perceptions, values and priorities: In the Domain of Oneness, you are committed to experiencing union with the Divine, harmony with nature, people, and with all being. Peace, grace and serenity are what we are committed to. At the same time, we are committed to avoiding an experience of emptiness, experiencing annihilation, and the void.
Unless you accept inner adventure as a way of life, discovery will not come to you. Do it for the adventure, self-discovery is born of direct experience. (Nisagardatta, I Am That. p. 434P).
The reality of the world we live in today requires that we prepare ourselves for the adventures that come to us throughout our lifetimes. Escalating personal, social, environmental and world crisis push against our doors of denial and ignorance to bring forth true, firsthand experiences of what it is like to be you, in human form. The ways of the past are gone! You are invited to discover the real you within the reality you’ve been living, from this moment forward.
Many spiritual practices with the majority of Religious and Spiritual Traditions, take us away from ourselves as the source of wisdom and truth. Meditation, prayer of supplication, and practices that take you into ecstatic places, have you look outside yourself for truth. You are invited to engage in a myriad of practice that promise to give you the answer, will change your energy patterns, your brainwaves, your chakras and provide instant transformation with no effort.
“Listen to ME! Buy What I Have to Offer! My Way is the Way!” People spend billions of dollars on all the “self-help” tools, but most of them don’t work, because people don’t want to do the real work, which requires the stopping of what doesn’t work, and being in direct relationship with themselves.
Heading to India to find that Guru you believe will bring you to fulfillment and enlightenment, well, it won’t. A truthful Guru will tell you they can’t, and you’ll feel disappointed, frustrated perhaps angered, which in itself tells you you’ve got some work to do on yourself. You’ve heard it a thousand times from a thousand sources; you won’t find it outside yourself. You just won’t!
Spiritual Immersion is a process of revealing the ever deeper and richer layers of our spirit-selves. This Spirit-Self resides within our human form and can only be fully known through direct, personal experience. Only through this direct experience can you explore, experiment and discover your truth and live that truth.
I believe we have come onto this planet to experience the fulfillment of our human spirit. We can only do this through the self-empowering, direct experience of our humanness. The intention of this book is to inspire you to choose consciously to immerse yourself – just as an experiment, into an experiment – an investigation, if you will, into self-discovery; then choose to live consciously according to the evidence of your investigation.
The Pragmatics of Limitless Being
The more you understand how you operate inside the reality of you, the more empowered you are to choose to act in alignment with what you want. Less sabotage, less stuckness, more fulfillment, freedom and fun. Abraham-Hicks, Notes from the Universe, The Secret and many other self-directed practice, teach: Change your thoughts and you will create the desirable outcome you want. It’s a very elegant principle, but the practice takes commitment and discipline to actually immerse oneself into the direct experience of this.
No one knows how long it will take to realize the potential of this practice. Its takes as long as it takes. Without taking the plunge, though, you can most likely kiss goodbye that which you truly desire. A practice of spiritual immersion, in my experience, is the most pragmatic training you will ever discover. It brings to the foundations of your being and your doing. This allows you to choose differently – only in service to what you want – not what you don’t want.