“I’m My Own Executioner and I Didn’t Even Know It!” Aging Like a Guru -Who Me? With Dr. Rosie Kuhn, #168
I’m My Own Executioner and I Didn’t Even Know It!
We can bend spoons and we can heal ourselves of disease. Which of these is more fun to practice?
There are a lot of people who dabble in the metaphysical world, with astrology, tarot, dowsing, or bending spoons. So many possibilities are at our fingertips. And curing ourselves of disease and what ails us as we age is also very realistic, according to Kelly Turner, who wrote the book Radical Remissions. So, where do most of us put our energies – in dabbling or in healing ourselves of what makes us sick?
Recently, I came across this aspect of me that seems to want to make my life difficult. It steers me towards poverty, loneliness, and wondering if I’ll ever amount to anything. I named this part of me my Executioner. It doesn’t care whether I’m a good person or a bad person. It is very much like the Queen of Hearts in Alice In Wonderland, who is famous for saying “Off with their heads!”
To manifest a life of whole-being and well-being, I’ve had to do some very deep digging to discover this part of me that punishes me for a choice I made a long time ago. It was a choice that I know was the very best choice given the circumstance. My executioner doesn’t care. It’s off with my head, regardless.
I believe a lot of us aging gurus live with circumstances in our past that we had no good choice about. We did the best we could, and yet we still punish ourselves for some reason. I believe these inner executioners keep us from being healthier, wealthier, and fulfilled. And for what?
What’s the point of self-punishment, self-abuse, self-flagellation?
I don’t have answers to this question. However, I can begin to notice when I’m in a state of self-degradation. I can feel that visceral angst that used to be so normal that I didn’t know it was really a not good way to be towards myself.
What I want for you is what I want for everyone, including me: to come to acknowledge that you’ve always been doing the very best you can do; to respect that the conditions of your reality brought you into every circumstance; to honor that who you were decades ago – who you may still be punishing, knew not what he or she was doing; and to honor what it has taken for you to courageously live life with all the calamities and insanities.
We can restore our sanity, our health, and our well-being once we retire our executioner. We all deserve a rest from past mistakes – even our executioner.
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com