I May Have to Get a Job
Its easy to judge and assess success and failure based on a context that limits perception of potentiality and possibility. It takes daring to keep your eyes wide open when you take that step into what seems to be the leap! There is so much to see!
I may need to get a job to meet some pressing financial commitments.
Initially, I see this as a failure on my part – that in this spiritual immersion work, I must have avoided or ignored some important step on this journey. Without knowing, perhaps that I took a detour, which has left me stranded on the ocean without a paddle. Somehow, I must have done something wrong.
Or, I see this as a failure on God’s part – that, I did everything I was supposed to do; I stepped up to the plate and hit the ball out of the park, yet I don’t get to receive the rewards and accolades for my monumental achievement. Man, you’ve done me wrong!
I’m disoriented. It isn’t supposed to end this way. End? Failure? Nope – that’s not the case. It’s only the beginning, and it’s opening a door that I wasn’t aware of, until now!
My attachment to my home, my lifestyle, to my beliefs in the absolute truth, my deep spiritual practice over the past four years – what am I to make of this moment, of it potentially having no meaning, significance, or truth to it whatsoever. I’m afraid of losing what I don’t want to lose.
I realize, with the help of A Course In Miracles, that I have a hierarchy of needs in my head, and this current circumstance and my current interpretation of this circumstance is challenging my whole belief system. If it all goes down the toilet, then what?
On the other hand, when I’m able to sit in my absolute truth and experience the Oneness and Universal Source of all that is, I see that my current situation is a reflection of where I’ve separated myself out from Oneness. My positionality and my preferences limit me – not allowing me to live into the expanded and expansive reality beyond my knowing.
Standing at the threshold of what’s next is really no different than waking up to a new day: I can anticipate the worst case scenario, hardship, loss and worry, or I can anticipate that I will create the kind of day I want to have, by remembering that I am Love, Freedom, Presence, because I am part of Creation and Creator – nothing less. As such, I can anticipate a most amazing experience awaiting me. But first a little dissection of my belief system is required.
A belief that I just can’t seem to detach from, is the idea that, because I am a person I need money to survive. If I don’t have money I will die. From the perspective of Oneness and All-ness of Universal Potentiality, how do I shift my orientation so that money isn’t the end all and be all of my existence? I begin by consider that perhaps there is an analogy which makes this a no-brainer.
If I’m sailing on a freshwater lake and I’m thirsty…
If I have land and I need dirt…
If I’m in an orchard of trees ripe with fruit and I’m hungry…
If I’m walking in a meadow and I need to rest…
If I’m in the middle of nature and I need connection…
These to me are no-brainers, when my perceptions include a context that provides the reality that what I need is provided at the time I need it.
The source of money is no different than the source of all the above, but to change my context – seeing the bigger picture, is sometimes challenging, especially when I consider the degree to which our consensus reality is so entrenched in money being separate from the source of money.
An amazing jeweler friend of mine, here on Orcas Island, says “I know how to make jewelry, but I just don’t know how to make money.” What became clear to me through these few words is that: through Divine Inspiration, my friend creates jewelry. Her jewelry is a Divine creation in the world. People exchange money (one symbol of Divine creation) for her jewelry (another symbol of Divine creation). The source of all monies, in all their varied form is endless, because the source is eternal and Divine.
My writing, my coaching, my training and speaking are my creations and my money, as it were, and all are Divinely Sourced. I exchange these manifestations of the Divine Source for other manifestations of Divine Source. My lake, my orchard, my meadow, my land, eternally nourish me, only when I wake to the realization that indeed, it is all right here.
Okay, so now you want to know what’s next – how do I make this paradigm shift, taking the spiritual into the mundane?
I can only tell you what I’m willing to practice, in support of experimenting and investigating the truth of it all. I haven’t a clue what the end result will be. First of all…
I let go of my attachment that my way is the right way and that I know better than God; I let go of my attachment that I should remain on Orcas, and continue to coach, write and train; and I let go of the current belief that I’ve failed to be successful.
I sit in the direct experience of this moment; I feel and sense into the raw and deep humanness that is present, here, now. This requires experiencing the angst and anguish, the fears, the underpinnings of all the what-ifs. For, what I know is that in this moment, as I cross the threshold, the only truth is that which occurs in this moment – everything else comes from memories. I can empower myself to clear these memories, which are beliefs and interpretations carried for lifetimes, cultures and even within the collective unconscious. In so doing, I am free of the burdens of my past, and I can step effortlessly into what’s next with no illusions of what might or might not be.
I remain open and allowing to the highest vibrational outcome that is forthcoming, as I have done religiously for the past four years (no pun intended), and I continue to be present to, and clear away all thoughts, feelings and sensations that can interfere with the fullest expression of my essential nature.
That’s not so hard, eh?
Sooner or later, untethering ourselves from unconscious beliefs and the patterns of thinking and acting that emerge from them, is required of all of us. There is no way around it. And, I have no doubt that the rewards of such endeavors far out-weigh the discomfort and disorientation that must be endured. I am here to empower you to engage authentically with your full existence. And so…
I’m in this with you,