Freedom Archives - The Paradigm Shifts

Hedonism in France? Not Us!

After announcing our June 2019 retreat, the "I’m Giving Up Personal Development" Retreat, I wondered if it sounds as though we are all about hedonism. That we would eat, drink, and mindlessly abuse ourselves to within an inch of our lives. This retreat is just the opposite! Our intention is to mindfully allow the direct and full experience of the kindredness of ourselves with all the glory and beauty life has to offer. On a river boat in France. Because beauty and glory. Did You Know? The research of my PhD dissertation, Sailing As a Transformational Experience, revealed that most

Having What You Want

I Don’t Know What I Want The most important question, and the initial question, that I pose to any new client when starting a new coaching relationship is, "What is it that you want?" You’d be surprised but more often than not, people are challenged to articulate what they want. More often than not, they have trained themselves to want what they “should” want, or want what other people want. When faced with "what is it that YOU want," their knees go weak and their mind goes foggy and they go into a muddled abyss, not knowing how to answer

Am I Frivolous?

In my most recent session with Mandy, a beautiful and brilliant woman in her mid-thirties, she shared with me that she was thinking seriously about attending the Weaving Heaven and Earth Retreat in Bali. But at the same time, she believed wholeheartedly that spending time and money on such an experience was frivolous. "How can going on excursions into beautiful environments, and talking about how to experience Heaven on Earth contribute to my needs for shelter, food, and clothing? I just can’t wrap my brain around doing something like this. I mean, it sounds fun, but frivolous! Aren’t my survival

No Way-I’m Not Going!

I leave for Bali in a few weeks, and as the time draws nearer I find myself terrified of traveling to a part of the world that I’ve never been before. What comes to mind is "no." What comes to my whole being is an experience of fear and trauma. Part of me wants to back out! It’s too scary!!! I realize that I have a choice in this moment to avoid and ignore the sensations of fear and trauma, or I can explore the source of these sensations and fears. I’ve discovered over time, that to immerse myself in

Cease Abandonment

Quite often for me, the writing of one article stirs some inner work that reveals another bump in the road – an obstacle that, again, on one level seems like no big deal, yet on another stops the natural unfolding of one’s life path. For every one of us, by sitting with these obstacles, an epiphany arises naturally, along with the doubt of its truth and realness. The Epiphany Last Sunday, after my article, “Aging Into Shameless Perfection” was published in Orcas Issues, I thought about all of those times in my life where I’d felt shamed, forsaken, and

Aging and Change

“Your Life is a Testimony to Change.” Rasha The more years I have under my belt the more I realize the degree to which life is more about change than it is about no-change. That change occurs in the realms of physical, mental, and emotional development; social and political structures; career and finances; relationships with family and community; and last but not least, relationships with ourselves and our spirituality. How could one possibly interpret life as stable with all of the shifts that occur in so many aspects of one’s reality?! In the past, I believed if I earned enough

Ready for Take Off

This piece is dedicated to Emily Reed who passed away this week. We are grateful, Emily, for the gifts of your gracious presence on our dear Island. Sit Back and Relax Some people get on a plane and head out to their destination, effortlessly surrendering control to their pilots. Others are in the throes of panic – terrified of being out of control. Anxiety and fear of the unknown ride within them until they touch down at their destination. They are hyper-vigilant for that moment when the plane blows up or crashes. They await the moment of impact when powerless,

Discerning the Essence of One’s Life

Fearless Freedom Barbara Herschel was a long time Orcas Islander. She was a big hearted activist and advocated for changes that made our community more viable in so many ways. She was a real gift.Barbara hired me as her Life Coach at the age of 78. Her husband Bill passed away, and after a long time of caregiving for him, she was ready to return to those activities that made her heart soar. She wanted to paint again – something she was passionate about, yet she just couldn’t get around to it. My job was to get her on track

Being Successful at Living Someone Elses Illusion

One of the fundamental truths I’ve been living with in my life is that I’m simply not enough and will never be enough. I can never do enough because I can never be enough “ you get the picture. Every day, I fail to bring about the magical miracle outcome that I hope will happen through completing ordinary tasks. The hope is unfulfilled. I’ve come to resist doing anything, or completing anything, because the evidence is that I will face the emptiness of unfulfilled expectations,… and I hate that feeling. Empty of magic; empty of miracles; death of a

In the Pursuit of Mei-Li

Mei-Li has a Ph.D. and works for one of the biggest communication companies in the world. Originally from China, she has been in Silicon Valley, California for the majority of her adult life. Married with two children Mei-Li is very happy. However, she has been facing a very challenging dilemma for many years: Though she is happy, successful and fulfilled in her life as it is, she’s concerned that she should do more “ be more. Mei-Li observes her boss focusing most of his attention on getting ahead; she sees other women at her level of management working for the

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