Posts Tagged ‘Spirituality’
I Have No Intrinsic Value – Who Me?
I’ve experienced some really great accomplishments lately, and I feel good about these accomplishments. Now the question is, do I want to do more? All sorts of thoughts rush in before I can even complete the question – do I want to do more? And the bottom line is this answer, “I don’t know. I’ll have to see what shows up!”
The dilemma that arises pits my judgments of myself, based on accomplishments, productivity and proving myself worthy in the world, against my spiritual principles, which distills down to “be fulfilled in expressing love, joy, fun and only do what is infinitely pleasing!”
From a spiritual perspective, I can see myself as a clean slate, and, as well, this moment as a clean slate. I can choose to bring to this moment whatever it is I want to bring into this moment. Truth is, the only thing that exists in this moment is what I choose to bring into it. Discerning exactly what that is, could be tremendously helpful. And so the discernment process begins, in service to answering the question: What do I want to do?
You know as well as I do that this question has many levels and is highly complex; given all the domains within which we exist; karma and other external influences. How do I know what it is I want to do, and how do I know with certainty that I’m doing it for my own pure reason and nothing else? Truth is, in this moment, I can’t know.
To a large degree, life coaching is directed toward specific circumstances, wants and desires; for instance, the desire for a long term relationship, a healthier body, more money or a fulfilling career. Often the coach works within the problem-solving paradigm, brainstorming with their clients to find the best fitting assignments to assist the client in getting what they want. As effective as this is, looking into the bigger picture can be more valuable.
What we want in our current life – the one we experience in this moment, is in service to a more Universal Human Desire. My experience is that by un-concealing my Universal Human Desires and my existential reality – I live, therefore I question my reality – I begin to engage more directly with my core, essential self. I’m then able to make choices that profoundly affect all areas of my life. Having a thinking partner to distinguish all of this is super helpful and empowering in order to get me to my truth and nothing but my truth – SO HELP ME JESUS!!!!
Here Is an Example of What This Might Be Like
My client, Carolyn, has been working on some core issues for a very long time. As an amazingly courageous woman, our explorations always cut through veils of resistance, emotional debris, and beliefs that no longer serve her. Over time, she exercises and stretches herself in support of coming to a place of well-being that she never knew existed.
Carolyn starts out our most recent session in a big harrumph: “I’ve lost my customary defense against negativity. It’s making me feel depressed, and it’s scaring me. I’m losing my sense of ambition. I’m over sixty years old and I’ve got to continue to build my career, but I don’t even know what I want anymore. It’s unsettling. I don’t want to build my practice. I have nothing of value to offer. It’s all downhill from here. Heck, I don’t even know who I am. I have no intrinsic value.”
“What if this were true?” I asked, “That you have no intrinsic value?”
Carolyn closed her eyes and felt deeply into this experience. “It makes me feel depressed. My heart hurts and my body sags. I feel physical pain. It feels really uncomfortable.”
I was feeling into my own felt-sense of what it’s like to be without intrinsic value, and felt a similar experience to Carolyn. I acknowledged her and her experience, then asked again, “And what if you had no intrinsic value?”
Carolyn again went inside and disclosed: “I feel empty. . . . I feel nothing.” After a long pause, she exclaimed, “Wow, feeling this way, I don’t think I’ll ever want to do anything else ever again. I feel at peace. There’s no longing, no worry, no struggling; it feels wonderful. Stillness!” She allowed only a brief moment in this stillness before she went on, with some urgency, “How am I supposed to live life after feeling this quality of being? There’s no need to get anything done!”
I asked, “What is it that you think needs to get done?” Carolyn replied, “I should be effective, making money, be like everyone else. I should be connected, not a weirdo who sits around and meditates all day.”
I hear Carolyn connecting into her current, fear-based paradigm of should’s and shouldn’t’s. What I want for her, in this moment, is to perhaps create new pathways to this emerging paradigm she’s just beginning to acknowledge. Softly and slowly I speak, “Come back to that place of peace and stillness. What value does making money and being like everyone else have for you? How do these ways of being serve you?”
C: “I’m doing things that make me valuable to others. I’m afraid they won’t like me – that they won’t want anything to do with me if I don’t.”
R: “And if that’s true, that they won’t want anything to do with you, what will that mean?”
C: “It means that they will reject me.”
R: “And if that happens, that they reject you, then what?”
C laughs: “That will mean I have no intrinsic value.” she says. Then she sighs, relaxes back into stillness.
R: “Tell me what has intrinsic value to you? What’s important to you?”
C: “My husband Sean, he’s important to me. My grandchildren are very important to me. My work with my students is also really important to me. . . . Oh, so . . . . I don’t have to do anything that I don’t want to do. I don’t have to do things to try and please other people. I can create a life based on what I choose as meaningful – not what others choose for me!”
R: “And, as you say this, what’s it like for you in this moment?”
C: “I feel relaxed and still connected to my life. I can acknowledge and be in this state of peace and still function in the real world, doing what matters to me. This feels really good!”
Carolyn started out this session wanting to get more effective, more productive, and to focus on what’s hers to do, which in her mind was to get more clients, make more money, and make sure she is being appropriate in order to remain likeable. When she began expressing a sense of depression, an unsureness or sadness, I picked up on the fact that something isn’t right. My experience is that we need to explore what’s not right, what’s missing, what needs to shift, so that Carolyn, all of my clients, and myself too, are in alignment with our heart and our sense of true intrinsic value.
What Carolyn did was quiet herself and discern what is true for her. Like most of us, she was thinking about herself, what to do and how to be, based on her context about herself, the world and the people in it. She was assessing based on what she believed to be of value to the world, such as being of service, care-taking, making money, being successful, and being powerful. Her strategy was to then figure out how to fit into those truths.
Questions that can arise within each of us – especially me in this moment: “How much money can I make without being considered selfish and inconsiderate? How much power can I have without being considered abusive? How much money do I need to make before I’m considered successful? What level of leadership do I need to attain before I am respected?” These are underlying conversations going on in our heads constantly. Only through mindful, intentional discernment can we realize the master we are serving.
Few of us are trained to be comfortable in this nebulous environment where our humanness and our spirituality meet, and to actually be in this arena. We talk about being spiritual but rarely are we aware of the experience of being it. It’s a pretty scary territory to navigate – at first.
Look at Carolyn’s experience. She found herself through the experiences of emptiness and nothingness only to settle into stillness and peace. After only a few moments of stillness she popped into worry: “How will I ever get anything done if I’m so content here, in this place?”
Carolyn is no small potato. She is a high functioning, highly educated, and highly trained individual in the field of art, humanity, and spirituality. I’m like Carolyn in many ways. We are both at the threshold of a new frontier. The fact of the matter is, in every session we have had together, she traverses another undiscovered territory of awareness. She keeps levelling up! As she does so, she becomes more fluent in the languaging of her own being. I’m not meaning the verbal languaging but the nonverbal experience of being, which has gone unacknowledged for maybe lifetimes. And the great thing for me is that with each of my clients as they level up, so do I! We all traverse this territory of our human-spirits together. Sometimes we do this consciously and sometimes it’s unconscious, but we are doing it just the same.
So, to summarize this: Knowing and living in my intrinsic value is challenging work. Doing only what I love and that which is infinitely pleasing goes against everything I’ve been taught. Figuring out what is infinitely pleasing is just one aspect of living in peace, love, and my essential nature.
Stay tuned for what’s next in the continuing saga of how the paradigm shifts!
Having What You Want
I Don’t Know What I Want
The most important question, and the initial question, that I pose to any new client when starting a new coaching relationship is, “What is it that you want?” You’d be surprised but more often than not, people are challenged to articulate what they want. More often than not, they have trained themselves to want what they “should” want, or want what other people want. When faced with “what is it that YOU want,” their knees go weak and their mind goes foggy and they go into a muddled abyss, not knowing how to answer the question.
I Want But I Can’t Have
My client Michael is at another stage of this Wanting Game. He articulates clearly what he wants. He has a whole list of what he wants, including writing a book, which isn’t happening. In essence, Michael can want, but can he have what he wants? He doesn’t think so.
Tim wants a happy marriage with his partner Tammy. It isn’t happening for Tim right now. He feels powerless and hopeless that he will ever have a loving marriage with this woman that he fell in love with not so long ago. He is ready to leave her. Though he wants a happy marriage, he questions his worthiness of a happy marriage. Tim doesn’t believe he is worthy of having what he wants.
For many of us it is okay to want, but in the moment when we are about to make our dream a reality, all sorts of judgments and interpretations arise – as does anxiety and fear. And we wait for the day when there is enough courage to not only say yes, but to make yes into a reality.
Having What I Want
Last year, there was no chance in Hell you would find me going to Bali. For years I’ve wanted to go to Bali, but, like Michael, Tim, and so many others, I had the capacity to want but not permission from myself to have what I want. Though in my mind it may sound like: “I can’t afford it. I can’t take the time away from work. I can’t travel alone….” The source of all of these statements is the belief “I am not worthy of having what I want.” My life is full of wants and few true fulfillment of what I want. But something is shifting lately….
Okay – I’ll Go to Bali!!
Allowing oneself to have what they want can be like pulling teeth. Some force seems to be at play that creates a resistance to actualizing wants and desires into manifestation. To have what I wanted meant and means having to take a leap so that having what I want is a good thing and not judged as a bad thing. Saying Yes to Bali was the first step. What follows, as many of you know who take those steps to manifesting wants into having, is actualizing a plan.
If, perhaps, the source of my not having is that confounding belief that so many of us live with: I’m not worthy, then transitioning through this process can take some conscious and mindful practices in order to ensure fulfillment of my wants. However, more often than not, when I want to fulfill a desire I check to see how relevant it is to my work. I can justify a purchase or a trip if it is related to work – that makes it “worthy.” But am I worthy? I will spare you every twist and turn in my adventures down this rabbit hole, but here’s the gist:
As I prepare for this trip and imagine what I want and need, I realize I’ve been questioning everything based on do I really need it or do I just want it? This whole adventure thus far has guided me toward the practice of letting go of needing to need things, and allowing me to have what I say I want. And I haven’t even left Orcas yet! You see, as we weave Heaven and Earth, we have to let go of those beliefs which limit actually having what we want. Otherwise, Heaven is unattainable – even when you are in Heaven!
Creating Heaven on Earth, or Not
I believe we are here on Earth to realize that worthiness isn’t even an issue to having what we want. And certainly other issues such as: is it safe to have what I want? Is it okay to have what I want? are thoughts that, in truth, are based is fear. And in fear, there is no room for fulfillment of any kind. Thus, no Heaven.
I’m so fascinated with this process of letting myself have what I want. It is actually the foundation of any Life Coach’s work – to assist people in having what they want. And, to witness for myself all the strategies in place that have limited my joy, my creativity, my playfulness and happiness, I see that the source of all these limitations is the resistance to allowing me to have what I want. I can easily see it in the Tim’s and Michael’s – in short my clients, but it is only through this process of going to Bali have I been able to see it in me. Oh What Fun!
We still have room for you in the Bali Retreat: Weaving Heaven & Earth. Click here for more information and to register. Or, email me if you’d like to talk about what you want in life and what you want to do with your want – fulfill it or delay & deny fulfillment!
Am I Frivolous?
In my most recent session with Mandy, a beautiful and brilliant woman in her mid-thirties, she shared with me that she was thinking seriously about attending the Weaving Heaven and Earth Retreat in Bali. But at the same time, she believed wholeheartedly that spending time and money on such an experience was frivolous.
“How can going on excursions into beautiful environments, and talking about how to experience Heaven on Earth contribute to my needs for shelter, food, and clothing? I just can’t wrap my brain around doing something like this. I mean, it sounds fun, but frivolous! Aren’t my survival needs all that really matter? I shouldn’t even be considering this!”
I almost laughed out loud when Mandy asked her questions and shared her genuine beliefs. You see, Mandy is all about bringing vitality and joy into the world. Ironic, isn’t it? Her graduate work and extensive studies in body-mind-spirit connection are reflected in her exuberance for life and her desire to share this exuberance with the world. I was fascinated with how she can be so in-the-world with her vision for a thriving and joy-focused healing practice, and also have this part of her that claims, “if it doesn’t contribute to my survival needs, then it must be frivolous and I shouldn’t want it!”
I am very familiar with the judgment of life beyond survival needs as frivolous—I spent many years in that mindset myself— so I have no judgment of Mandy. And, since Mandy raised this issue for herself, she allowed me to also reflect on that part of me that perhaps sees this upcoming retreat in Bali as frivolous, ludicrous, and a waste of time, energy and resources.
Mandy even balked at the idea that spa services are included in the retreat package. “Really Rosie,” she asked “spa services in the retreat that are mandatory rather than optional? It just seems so frivolous! I’m not a frou-frou type of woman! I don’t want to spend money on that!”
But what I told her, and what I want you to know is that I’m not talking about mani/pedi’s like you get down at the neighborhood strip mall to gossip and sip bubbly.
The spa services in our retreat are sacred rituals in Bali, typically taken before a major rite of passage in life, and are chosen as a initiation, a coming home to oneself, so that we can go deep in our inner work. It’s not about being “silly girls and boys and playing with makeup.” it’s about restoration of the body, mind and soul, and preparation for the inner work to come. It’s about allowing yourself to be cared for and held in this space of heaven on earth. In fact, each activity in this retreat is carefully chosen for us to prepare us for our inner work together.
Even as that sank in deeper, and seemed to appease the logic-oriented inner protester, Mandy still seemed reluctant to let herself want it. I get it.
Allowing ourselves to have what we want can sometimes reveal more fears than anything else!
However…
Mandy has yet to be at a retreat, workshop, or training with me – Dr. Rosie. She has yet to experience the integration of joy-full play with deep hard work; She hasn’t yet taken full grasp of the requirement to participate consciously in her own transformation. And, like so many of us, Mandy has yet to see that such intense focusing on her fears regarding survival needs makes it nearly impossible to bring sustainable joy, happiness, love, and connection into her life, or into the lives of the people she serves. Without joy, happiness, love, and connection, life on Earth can feel painful, hellish, and sometimes despairing. And, just as a matter of fact, science has shown that laughter, play, and connection are super important to health and well-being. Who can argue with science?!
This left Mandy at a crossroads. She looked at choosing to either continue down the same path of solely attending to her fears of survival (even though she lives amidst amazing abundance), or, she can choose to walk the path of seeing, experiencing, and bringing more fear-less presence into her life. More intentional joy-filled moments.
As it turned out, through this depthy coaching conversation, Mandy got it! And, with trepidation into this new perspective on how she wants to be in life, Mandy stepped into a “yes” for the Bali retreat, but not because I persuaded and convinced her to say yes. She realized that saying yes was in alignment with how she wants to be in the world, the joy she wants to be a living expression of, and her strong desire to live a fully-expressed, playful, joy-filled life. This makes us both gasp in giddy excitement — a great start for her to begin weaving Heaven and Earth.
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You might have noticed that, although the context of these Bali-focused newsletters has been the Retreat in Bali, the message I’m wanting to impart is that the way each of us chooses to choose to live our lives is reflected in any one aspect of our lives.
For me, it’s not about whether you choose to join me or not join me in Bali. What matters to me is how you choose to go or not go to Bali – how you say “yes” and how you say “no.”
This one particular life choice is most likely very similar to how you choose anything else.
Mandy is choosing to practice saying “yes” to those elements of life that she has a lifetime of judging as frivolous: happiness, joy, love, and connection, because she realized that, in the end, these experiences support basic survival in all ways conceivable.
What will have you say “yes” to Bali?
If you have thoughts or desires to join me in Bali and you’d like to talk them out with me, please feel free to email me or reply to this email. I’d be happy to support you in making the choice that serves your highest desires for the fulfillment of your human-spirit. Yes, even if that means you end up saying “no!”
No Way-I’m Not Going!
I leave for Bali in a few weeks, and as the time draws nearer I find myself terrified of traveling to a part of the world that I’ve never been before. What comes to mind is “no.” What comes to my whole being is an experience of fear and trauma. Part of me wants to back out! It’s too scary!!!
I realize that I have a choice in this moment to avoid and ignore the sensations of fear and trauma, or I can explore the source of these sensations and fears. I’ve discovered over time, that to immerse myself in this inner exploration allows me to undo the tethering to hellish ideas, memories, judgments, and sensations. Energies of trauma and fear will dissipate, and I will then experience the heavenly peace and freedom to just be me.
To some of you this may seem far-fetched, however, to allow myself the openness to explore the cause of my terror reveals to me either a direct personal experience, perhaps a past life, or a collective-conscious experience of so much brutality, hatred, and horror that has occurred that it has me paralyzed in fear. Truly, it doesn’t matter which part of the Earth one travels, for war, genocide, forced poverty, and famine have existed everywhere, and continues to exist. There is no place on Earth that hasn’t experienced human suffering. I have no doubt that most of us carry within our cells the memories of Hell on Earth, whether it is in this lifetime, or in the lifetimes of our ancestors, or our own past lives. And in this moment, my body is re-membering scary stuff, and it doesn’t want to repeat any possibility of that scary stuff happening again. It’s called PTSD – post traumatic stress disorder. The disorder part is the degree to which we remain locked down in our fears and traumas. For some, it is mild, for others it is a BFD!
Resistance and reluctance to say “yes” to any life adventure rarely has anything to do with making a rational and intelligent choice. Usually reluctance to saying yes is based on fear, and our fears are primarily formed in the past, from experience of trauma – of one degree or another. We want to avoid any and all sensations related to trauma, and so we end up saying “no” to an adventure that may light us up.
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In the field of addictions, the Big Book says that restless, irritable discontent is the source of all addictions. My curiosity has me ask the question: what is the source of my restless, irritable discontent in this moment? The workshop on Deep Recovery that I’ll be facilitating in Los Angeles on Feb. 24-25th, focuses on this question specifically. However, in this moment, as I sit in this practice of articulating this process with you, the sensations of discomfort are almost too great. My fingers don’t want to type, I stop breathing, I experience anxiousness, irritability, and I have a tremendous desire to distract myself with any number of “funner” things. However….
I have to come back to what I know to be true. What I know is that Heaven resides on the other side of my current state of Hellishness. What I know is that to deny myself the current moment of the truth of my experience of Hell denies me the liberation from Hell. What I know is that I always have a choice to either resist what it is I’m experiencing in this moment, or to surrender into the sensations I’m experiencing, which can feel like Hell, with no way out!
Because I’ve been at this choice-point many times before, and because I’ve trained myself to surrender into the exploration for the source of my discontent, I have no doubt that I will soon experience myself within a Heavenly place. I’ve gently lowered myself into the depths of what I’ve always interpreted to be Hell, over and over and over again, only to un-conceal Heaven!
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My invitation to come to Bali with me may instill just a matter-of-fact “No, this isn’t for me” reaction in you. My invitation may create in you uncomfortable sensations, which for now, has you say, “I’m not ready.” It may stimulate a “Yes, but . . . the timing isn’t right.” Or, it may create a “Yes, and . . . I’m afraid.” I totally get it, as I’ve experienced all of these for myself. What I want for you is a “Hell Yes – I’m going!” And if it is a “Yes, but, . . . ” then I encourage you to explore the sensation, the fears, the worries, and other sources of your trepidation. Heaven awaits on the other side. ;)
If you have questions or thoughts that you’d like to talk to me about, that could help you decide more clearly for yourself to go or not go to Bali, please email me, or call me, and let’s set up a time to talk. I’d be so happy to assist and support you in any way I can.
Life on Earth has been very frightening for most of us at some time in our lives. For some of us, quite recently. To embrace the possibility that we could actually weave Heaven and Earth can seem unfathomable and an unbearable task to take on for some. I know that place intimately. And, I know that you will experience the strength to cultivate courage, and the courage to cultivate the strength, to make Heaven on Earth when you are ready. I have no doubt that this is true for you.
Are you with me?!
Bali is calling you. This retreat is calling you. I’m calling you, back home to your fullest expression of who you know yourself to be. Join us in co-creating Heaven on Earth.
Who Wants a Boring Life?
It’s been about a month since I’ve written for Orcas Issues. I’m in the midst of preparing for my big adventure to Bali as well as putting together the program for my Retreat – Weaving Heaven and Earth. I’ll tell you, who ever said aging is boring didn’t get it right.
The Aging – Who Me? group at the Senior Center has been running for a whole year now. Happy Birthday to us! We have been meeting two Tuesdays a month with pretty much the same 11 participants – with a few leaving and a few joining us. You’d think our conversations might be on the boring side – what could possibly be the point of old people getting together to talk about aging over and over again? But the fact is, every conversation is rich and dynamic, because each of us, at the heart of our being, is rich and dynamic . . . how could it be otherwise? So when there is space to share the truth of what’s really happening in the midst of aging, things get really interesting, even juicy and yummy. For instance…
Madeleine is getting to the point where she can no longer deny that she is aging. Up until just recently she has prided herself in being self-reliant and independent. Over the holidays, while with family and due to bad weather, Madeleine experienced an inability to driver herself around. Plus, she had to rely on her children to take care of her more personal needs – something she never ever considered before.
During our check-in at the beginning of our session in the New Year, Madeleine shared how rich it was to have her children attend to her every need. She had never experienced such loving care in her whole life. She wept as she touched into how vulnerable yet beautiful it was to be receptive to receiving. And, as if to dismiss this poignant moment of self-disclosure, she quickly moved onto the next bit of sharing.
Later in the discussion the topic of receiving popped up again, and Madeleine and a few others reiterated how difficult it is to receive loving care, especially now when it is most needed.
I asked the group, “What is it about receiving that is so uncomfortable for people?”
There was a long pause, then Sharon spoke the word: “Pride.” And then she said, “Pride is really important to me. I feel vulnerable and humiliated if I need to ask for help. I don’t like receiving help – never have!” Madeleine backed up Sharon by saying, “I’m the very same way. I don’t like having to receive! It’s a pride thing.” I found this interesting, given Madeleine’s initial sharing of the session about how wonderful is was to feel appreciated by her children.
Howard spoke up next and shared that he loves being generous and being of service, but feels really uncomfortable when people are generous to him. He gestured with his hands, as if pushing off any nicy-nice offerings that were coming his way.
It is amazing to notice that just through the process of sharing the ongoings of one’s holiday experience, this whole context of life regarding receiving entered the room. Not only the stories but the challenges of allowing oneself to receive.
One of the many dilemmas of being human, and of aging in particular, was surfacing in this conversation: On the one hand, we all desire connection and engagement with family and friends – in essence – giving and receiving, while at the same time allowing pride and vulnerability to interfere with the pleasure that is experienced when in the act of true receiving. There is a disconnect, and an inability to allow the enriching experience that receiving actually is.
In essence, as we age, most of us will face that time in our lives when all we can do is receive. I’d say we are lucky if we reach that point in life! However, this moment presents us with a choice-point: Do I receive with grace, humility and honor? Or, do I resist and resent the reality of what is, which leaves me angry, withholding and withdrawn? This is a big question that takes us on a whole new not-boring adventure.
A beautiful crescendo occurred in the group – lightbulbs lit up as most of the group could identify with enjoying being the giver, and, in this fresh new awareness, saw how they had dismissed the true experiences of receiving. Marlin had a sparkle in his eye when he realized that truly receiving a gift is a gift to the giver. My heart hurt as it experienced Marlin expressing this moment of self-realization, as the human being within the 80-something person he thought he was. Marlin was beginning to realize that there is so much more within himself, and I saw that he was becoming more curious about who that is. The potential for a whole new adventure was awakening for him.
As we evolve within the ever changing body of tissues, blood and cells, it is easy to get caught up in the attitude of decrepitude – that because our bodies continually move into less and less ability, functioning less and less the way we want it to, then our true self is moving in the same direction.
This belief cannot get any further from the truth.
And it is easy to capitulate our power and sacrifice our soul, sliding into depression, isolation and despair. It takes courage and strength to not only see it but to live it another way.
Marlin, Howard, Madeleine, Sharon and the others in the Aging – Who Me? group, are discovering that there is a lot more to who they are. They are cultivating curiosity and fascination about who is inside the sagging bag of bones. They aren’t as likely to compromise their human-spirit as they once were. As they listen to others and reflect within themselves, they are finding the inroads to a whole new world to discover. Aging is guiding them onto the path of the inner journey – the biggest adventure of them all!
There comes a time when the adventures of exotic parts of the Earth aren’t beckoning us as they once had. But this doesn’t mean that life has to be boring and stagnant. Aging provides so many opportunities to adventure into the “Me” inside the body. As with all adventures, this too can be arduous, requiring courage, strength and guidance to remain present and on the path. After all, who want’s a boring life?
Perhaps you are curious about my 7-day retreat in Bali, Weaving Heaven and Earth, and you are up for the opportunity to adventure out into rare pockets of beauty on Earth, and at the same time desiring to explore the exquisite inner world where Heaven truly exists. Click here for more information, or email me. I’d be delighted to answer any of your questions.
Currently, Aging – Who Me?, the in-person discussion group is closed to new participants. However, if you’d like to join an online discussion group, please email Dr. Rosie to encourage her to make this available.
On the Wings of Desire
Weaving Heaven and Earth is not just a week-long retreat. It is a way of being, every day of your life.
You may not be able to join us in Bali this year, though you desire it greatly. But that doesn’t mean you cannot create Heaven on Earth for yourself at home.
The intention for this retreat in beautiful Bali is to cultivate an environment within which each participant can truly realize a paradigm shift. It provides an opportunity to focus on ground zero of one’s orientation in life -in essence: are you focused on a heavenly life on Earth; are you taking complete responsibility for every aspect of your life; are you willing to create an environment at home where total immersion in the process of integrating Heaven and Earth is allowed to unfold?
Creating Loving Trust of Oneself
In any deep spiritual work, set and setting are foundational to creating a space within which an individual can feel safe enough that they can let go of what may limit them from going deeply into themselves. The trajectory of one’s journey is important to attend to, however, what is more important is to attend to those limiting beliefs and perceptions that cause hesitation, doubt, procrastination or total avoidance all together of what you truly desire. We all have these limiting beliefs, and we all have the ability to transform our fear-filled life into a life that is fearless. This is the life within which you, yourself trust fully. Can you imagine that?
The Synergy of Weaving Heaven and Earth
The inception of this retreat occurred a few years ago, through conversations with people who have had near death experience, and through my own personal immersion into creating Heaven on Earth. Trusting that this retreat will occur if it is mine to do, I held my intentions with gentle fierceness. It would come in its own Divine Timing if it was in Divine Order.
In the book Oneness by Rasha, a sentence that has become a mantra for me is: “The highest possible results are automatically forthcoming” (page 206). To make sense of this phrase, I added for my self… “If the results that I believe to be the highest possible results are not forthcoming, then I’ve got more work to do, in un-concealing those limiting beliefs that keep me grounded, so to speak, and unable to enjoy the results I desire.”
By surrendering control of, well, everything, I’ve come to live in a greater sense of loving trust of myself and the Universe, God, Oneness – whatever name you call it. As I surrender, I often feel like a fledgling – a bird on the edge of its nest, about to leap, with no idea that I have wings, which give me freedom to soar.
The synergy of my desire to manifest this retreat met up with my friend Heather’s desire to host a retreat at her beautiful hotel in Northern Bali. This synergy brought to us Jessica Ruby Hernandez, who is a yoga instructor extraordinaire and so much more! The synergy of the three of us together touches you and many others, who have considered Bali as a travel destination and who desires a life where Heaven on Earth is real and doable!
I’ve witnessed the synergy of intentions and desires take wing in ways I’ve never imagined before – how could I? I’m experiencing the expression of our intentions go out into the world in such breathtaking beauty that I didn’t see as possible – how could I?
I’m touched by the people who have registered for Weaving Heaven and Earth, thinking still that it is unfathomable that my imagined desire to facilitate a retreat such as this would come into fruition. Again – how could I know, having stayed on the edge of my nest for as long as I have, not yet having the courage and the strength to release myself as I’ve never done before? My nest has given me the safe space – the set and setting, to prepare and ready myself for another big adventure. I’ve cultivated loving trust in myself and the world, enough that I’ve taken the leap! I am soaring!!
I have no doubt that by you giving yourself the safe and sacred space to cultivate loving trust of yourself and the world, you too will discover that you have wings that provide you with unlimited freedom and power to soar. At home or in Bali, I’ll be soaring with you!
The synergy of this retreat continues to desire expression. While in Bali, I plan on creating short video blogs – VLOGS, that will share with you some of the highlights of the retreat and themes we are exploring. If you are interested in receiving these VLOGS, let me know! And, of course, to register, click here.
How Do I Know This is Right For Me?
Am I Meant to Be in Bali?
How Do I Know if this Retreat is Right for Me?
It is one thing to be intellectually savvy about spirituality. You’ve read the books; you talk about it in ways that allow you to feel confident in your truth. However, it is another thing to venture into experiences that will put you smack dab in the middle of the very essence of what you’ve only been thinking and talking about, until now.
When choosing a workshop or retreat experience, you want to trust that you will be safe in the hands of the facilitator of the event. You want to step into the environment confident that you will be met every step of the way by an individual who thoroughly knows and has experienced the road that brings one into the potential transformative nature of what they are inviting you into. I get it. And I have walked this road for 40 years.
I was thinking this morning that this invitation to join me in Bali is going out to thousands of people. And yet, only a handful of people will say yes. Only a handful of people will be ready to engage with life experiences that will expand the bandwidth of their comfort zone, to include what may take some courage and strength to face.
This unique handful of people will not only be pushing the edge of their comfort zone, but they will expect me to push mine as well. I accept!
When considering a retreat, you are investing not only in beautiful lodgings, food, travel, excursions and discussions; you are investing your trust, your heart, and your spirit in a sacred environment within which you expect to amplify your own ability to embrace a bigger truth about life and about yourself. You want to experience your “A” GAME, and to do that, you have to know that your facilitator – in this case Me, will take every opportunity to empower you to make that happen. There is a lot of trust happening, eh?
And, I, as the facilitator of such an exquisite process of Weaving Heaven and Earth have to trust not only the participants to reach for the sky, but I have to trust in my highest truth and knowing; I have to surrender into the wisdom of Heaven and of Earth to bring about everything needed to make this a most received experience by everyone involved. I’m up for it! Are you??
I’m excited to see who will be with me in Bali! If you are ready, I look forward to seeing you there. If you aren’t quite ready, I look forward to the opportunity to see you in-person at another time.
Why Bali, Why Rosie, Why a Retreat?
8 weeks from now I’ll be facilitating the Weaving Heaven and Earth Retreat in Bali. I’ve been asked – Why Bali? What value is there in going so far away? And why me – Rosie? Why a retreat and not just a vacation?
Why Bali?
Put simply, Bali is Beautiful. Exquisitely, National Geographic beautiful! And the Balinese’s devotion to the sacred in all of life + rich history of ceremonies and rituals, envelops us visitors and carries us in the sacred vibration, a looong way from the stresses and rigors of life in the Western-culture cities we will be arriving from. Bali will transport us into natural wonder, beauty, and the mystical alchemy of Heaven and Earth. I have no doubt that you will be in awe on a daily basis while staying in Bali.
Heather Stansbury, Bryan Benepe, and their daughter Zoey are our hosts for this retreat. They own the Lilin Lovina Beach Hotel in Lovina, Bali, which is on the North shore. Our hosts, who are dear friends of mine, know this part of the island like the back of their hand, and are excited to assist me in creating excursions that are guaranteed to delight and engage our intimate group in several heavenly experiences on Earth. Having this immersion into Heaven on Earth, having the most direct experience of what we can only imagine Heaven to be like, allows us to begin to shape the life on Earth that is truly what we wish to experience every day, wherever we are on the planet. Yes–we will be practicing cultivating Heaven on Earth for when we return to our daily routines in our hometowns.
Why me – Dr. Rosie?
I’ve facilitated many a retreat, as close as my own sanctuary here on Orcas, and as far away as Moscow, Russia. My experience as a facilitator, my experience as a life coach and trainer, my training as an expressive arts specialist, spiritual guide, and coach to those who have had near death experiences and have shared what Heaven was like, all contribute to me designing and facilitating this retreat in Bali. I’m eager, no ecstatic to share with you, and to facilitate you stepping into your experience of Heaven on Earth.
I have nearly 40 years of experience in the field of human potential and transformation. My own personal and spiritual work has immersed me in some of the most exquisite and deep aspects of our humanity. I’ve safely stewarded and guided my clients through their own life-altering unfoldings, and for me it is what makes life worth living – engaging with other human beings at the most exquisite depths of truth. And I love having fun!
Why a Retreat?
This retreat in Bali is not for sissies! Weaving Heaven and Earth is for people who have a knowing that life on Earth, as we “know” it, is just a fraction of the potential that is available to us. It is for people who have a sense of adventure – not only regarding traveling to exotic Islands in Indonesia, but also regarding the adventure of exploring inner landscapes, and bringing them into expression in the world they see around them. I call that “living into your dreams!”
I have no doubt that we are here on Earth to bring heavenly ideas and truths into manifestation on this planet in every possible way. I so look forward to seeing all of you who believe as I do, that weaving Heaven and Earth will bring sustainability of true well-being, fulfillment, and commitment to purposeful living to all who attend.
That is my why. If this inspires you and tugs at your soul, I hope that you will join me in this heavenly adventure!
*For details on excursions included, dates, prices, accommodations, etc., visit www.NorthBaliConnections.com
P.S. I will be arriving in Bali a couple of weeks before the retreat to let the spirit of Bali seep into my bones. I can’t wait to tell you about it so please stay tuned– I’m sure I will be blogging up a storm!
P.P.S. Interesting in coaching with me? I will still be coaching my clients from Bali. Simply email me to get on my schedule. I look forward to stewarding you towards your own awakening of your deeper truths!
Cease Abandonment
Quite often for me, the writing of one article stirs some inner work that reveals another bump in the road – an obstacle that, again, on one level seems like no big deal, yet on another stops the natural unfolding of one’s life path. For every one of us, by sitting with these obstacles, an epiphany arises naturally, along with the doubt of its truth and realness.
The Epiphany
Last Sunday, after my article, “Aging Into Shameless Perfection” was published in Orcas Issues, I thought about all of those times in my life where I’d felt shamed, forsaken, and abandoned. I sat with the me of my mid-twenties, who, though doing the best she could, experienced abandonment by her family. I, my current self saw how she, the younger me, still experiences loneliness and isolation. In the quietness of my heart, I told her that I would never, ever abandon her. With all my heart I embraced her with this truth.
In the midst of this moment, I experienced a much deeper embrace by a greater presence, who said to me, as I said to my younger self, “I will never abandon you!” I experienced this within my heart. It was an undeniable, palpable quality of truth. It felt good, it felt true, and it felt real.
So my mind wants in on the action here, wanting to make sense of a non-sensical experience. My mind says, “Well, if it is true, that you will never abandoned me, then I can give up doing anything out of guilt, shame, worry, obligation and fear; that I can focus only on that which is infinitely pleasing; that I don’t have to think or act on any trigger other than what inspires and delights.” The voice then responded, “What reason would you have to act from guilt, shame, worry, and obligation, if you had no fear of rejection, exclusion, abandonment or being ostracized?” Good answer!
I checked in within and saw that the source of so much of my actions and thoughts are derived from my fear of abandonment and rejection. If in my heart of hearts I know I will never be abandoned, then I never have to consider it as a possibility. What is left is that I am free to create and co-create only what brings joy and delight to myself, which inevitably brings joy to others. Cool!
Each of us can feel in our bodies when a truth is a truth. And, though our minds may want to hold onto its power of acting from the past, sometimes it can’t find a loop hole in the logic of the heart.
This morning upon awakening, I began to witness my thoughts as I was planning what I should do today. Even the thought of what I should do triggered the phrase “I will not abandon you.” I thought about what I needed to get done, what is expected of me, things I promised myself. “I will not abandon you” repeatedly came into my awareness. Dang!!!
So, I looked closely at the source of my should’s. I looked closely at the underlying foundations of so much of my thinking and doing, and saw that, as I spoke about in “Aging into Shameless Perfection”, by acting from shame and blame, none of us are able to freely express our essential nature. The underlying reason to act from shame and guilt is the fear of abandonment and being ostracized. If I eliminate fear of abandonment and ostracization, now what? YES – FREEDOM AND FUN!
So many of us have epiphanies and moments of enlightenment. Just yesterday, while at Orcas Center, I was selling tickets to a patron, and he stopped in mid-sentence. He said “I just had an epiphany!” It was a really important moment for him, though I can’t remember what it was. But for him, something wonderful and ineffable occurred. And after he paid and was given his tickets, he quickly went off to document the important elements of this momentous occasion.
Moments of transcendence occur frequently. The challenging practice is to stay present to the truth of that moment, and somehow find ways to instill those practices into everyday reality. This can be really, really hard work, especially when most epiphanies fly in the face of consensus reality. The words “I will never abandon you,” certainly is juxtaposed to everything I’ve been taught and experienced as a human being. Many epiphanies are like that. They require us to discern the fascinating dilemmas each of us face, over and over again.
As we age, we gather more and more life experiences, which reinforces either the consensus view of reality, or a reality based on a greater wisdom, a greater knowing. It is so easy to remain entrenched in a reality of fear, especially with the political and environmental issues that are so in our face. It’s easy to continue to have faith in this view of reality – it’s like choosing which TV station to watch for accurate news and reporting and only watching that specific channel, because you have faith that you will be given the truth here – no fake news. These days, more and more, we question: Where is the truth being told?
Each and everyone of us has to answer this question for ourselves. Where is the truth being told? Which channel of information validates our fears of abandonment and annihilation, and which channel validates the other truth, that you will never be abandoned. And the important question then to ask yourself is, which channel will you choose to turn on every single day of your life?
A client of mine, Clark, is racked with guilt because he feels that if he isn’t trying to save the world from extinction, then he is complicit with all of what is happening in the world. Clark is literally driving himself into insanity because he cannot successfully convince others of the political reality underlying global warming. He watches tons of videos that reinforce and validate his truth, and people are shunning him because they don’t want to hear Clark talk about what they need to do! He believes his responsibly is doing whatever he can to save the world, and the outcome is that he is being shunned, excluded and abandoned. In this moment he feels despair in his defeat!
Like Clark, each of us chooses to see ourselves and our reality from one particular vantage point. In essence, we choose the channel through which we see the world. What if Clark switched off his channel and the shame, guilt and blame that are part and parcel to his way of operating? What if he gave up his war cry of “If you are not doing something, you are doing nothing, and you are complicit with the evils of the world.”? What if he just turned his YouTube channel to one that provides a different orientation to reality? Lots of questions, and they are easy questions to ask. The answers are sometimes heartbreaking and feel impossible, for one may have to experience the defeat of a fight that was not to be won in the first place. That sucks!
To age like a guru requires that we question our personal reality – not the reality of the external world. It requires discerning the operating principles from which we think, act, and be, every moment of our lives. To age like a guru requires that we surrender the fight, knowing that that may be the greatest possible gift to ourselves and the world. To age like a guru allows us to surrender the belief that abandonment is inevitable and there is no way out of living in fear of defeat and loss of everything. This is big work!
To age like a guru means asking really tough questions, perhaps never discovering those answers that could bridge consensus reality with any other reality. It is a deep personal journey, one that is exquisitely unique and beautiful for each of us.
It is just a choice!
If you’d like to join Dr. Rosie in the AGING – Who Me in-person discussions at the Orcas Island Senior Center, they meet every 2nd and 4th Tuesday, from 10 – 11:30 a.m.If you’d like to join an online discussion group, please email Dr. Rosie to encourage her to make this available – rosie@theparadigmshifts.comOr, if you’d like to set up a life coaching session, call 360-376-4323.If you are interested in knowing more about the 7-day retreat in Bali, Weaving Heaven and Earth, click here! https://www.northbaliconnections.com/