We’re All in This Together
Every one of us is most likely feeling the trauma of natural disasters, whether it is fire, flooding, high winds, or pandemic. None of us have immunity to being with what is occurring around the globe.
Natural disasters, and the fear of them, are hugely destructive of what is priceless in your life–both the material things and your sense of peace and serenity. What do you have when everything is swept away? Survival hormones kick in. Fight, Flight, Freeze. And in these current times, there’s nowhere to go, nothing to do. So those hormones aren’t very helpful.
We project blame and guilt on the weather, the pandemic, the government for taking away peace, prosperity and the pursuit of happiness. We project fear onto people, places and things, in order to get rid of underlying and unconscious fear and guilt. This allows us to remain righteous regarding our own perceptions of good, bad, right and wrong. I don’t know about you, but I like being right about other people being wrong!!
But did you know?
Whatever and whenever we project blame, we are abdicating accountability and responsibility for our own peace and serenity. You might think that this is better than actually owning your own thoughts, feelings and actions–the ones that interfere with peace; however, inevitably, we all have to empower ourselves to look at how we are being within our own lives–so we can actually make those changes for ourselves. There is no other way!!!
I For One Am Tired of Global Warming
I’m getting tired of being afraid of Global Warming. I’m tired of waiting for the sky to fall, like Chicken Little. I’m tired of waking up anxious about the rain, or the heat, or the snow, or the wind, or the virus. I’m tired of it and want things to go back to Normal!
I Want Things to Go Back to Normal, But . . .
I want things to be the way they were–where I know how to be me and how to do me, with regards to, well, just about everything around me! Yet I’m also realizing that that may be one of the learning opportunities happening now–that maybe each of us has to truly look at how well that “Normal” really worked for us. Within that Normal, were you happy, fulfilled, engaged and worry-free? If not, maybe that Normal really wasn’t that great. Maybe through this new Normal we are being given opportunities to recalibrate our capacities to be happy, fulfilled, engaged and worry-free no matter what the circumstances.
In my case, the rain triggers me. But truly, I was triggered by other things before the rain. I was triggered by money issues, love issues, health issues, family issues, government leaders and more. So this rain is only just one more issue and indicator that I’m still holding on to something that I’m afraid to lose, that resides in the old Normal.
What Have I Got to Lose?
When I say, I can’t be happy, relaxed, creative, loving… until this situation changes–be it weather, job, relationship, or Covid, I am actually limiting my capacity to self-empower myself into peace, prosperity and love. I am ignoring and avoiding the meeting of that part of me that can and someday will be realized, known and embraced. The longer I keep postponing that moment, the longer I live in my angst and anxious existence of waiting for things to change.
I realize that as I’m anticipating the rain to stop, I’m also amping up the angst about when the next storm is coming. It is a relentless pattern of hoping, waiting and anticipating the worst. There is very little room for peace. It seems relentless, until it’s not!
Moments of Gratitude, Joy and Compassion
At times, I come to moments of gratitude for my safety and warmth…. I feel blessed and supported. However, the emotional scales haven’t yet tipped to the point that I’m no longer triggered by stuff. The sound of the rain triggers me again. However, I have realized some ways of being and thinking that helps mitigate that trend:
First of all, I realize I’m not alone. I’m not the only one who has something to lose. There are people that have lost everything! There are people who are just as worried as I am of losing everything! As I embrace this truth, as I look across the valley and imagine how concerned all of my neighbors are, I shift into compassion for us all. We are all in this together.
Second, I’m aware of the fact that anxiety and angst have been part of my normal life–since forever. When I see my ingrained pattern of finding the next best trigger for my angst, I can, at the same time, realize the degree to which I’ve let go of “issues” that I thought would take me down; for example, living without a partnership, living without my children, living without enough money, living without a house. Over and over I’ve seen these patterns and have detached myself from my attachments. What this allows is more serenity and a realization that my attachments had me act from fear of losing what I was afraid to lose. What am I afraid to lose?
What I’m afraid to lose is my attachments to my Attachments! I’m definitely attached to “Normal.” And, Normal has meant: my dysfunctional patterns of being in relationships; my attachment to a specific degree of anxiety, stress and dis-ease; my attachment to a certain level of poverty; my attachment to constant worry that things will go wrong; and, my attachment to living in a state of lack–mostly lacking a belief that anyone cared about me.
Really?! Would you want anyone to maintain their attachments to these patterns of Normal? Jeesh! So I’m training myself to notice what I’m attached to–what I’m afraid to lose. I can then realize how these attachments may not be serving me anymore, especially when I may not have a choice in the matter.
One of my favorite passages in Oneness says: “For, until you have nothing left to lose and nothing left to gain by continuing in your ingrained patterns, you do not have the catalyst for initiating radical change.”
Initiating radical change means empowering yourself to participate in a repatterning, which will bring you, and perhaps the world, to radical change. For me, the rain is a springboard right now, depicting a life theme that I want to transcend, so I may choose to empower myself through radical change–transformation!
The big practice is to train myself to notice what I’m holding on to and train myself to let go of what I’m afraid to lose. For me, this is not easy or comfortable. But hiding under my bed covers in worry and angst doesn’t align with my highest truth and highest knowing: that there is peace and serenity within me right now!
This May Be As Good As It Gets
The circumstances around us may not change–Global warming, new strains of Covid, Government takeovers . . . It sounds dire, and sometimes feels dire. And, there is so much we can do to bring about peace within ourselves and the world. The Serenity Prayer, my favorite prayer in the whole world, encourages each of us to:
Tap into the serenity within, where you can accept what you cannot change;
Step into your courage to change the things you can;
And, realize the wisdom that is always within you to know the difference between what you can’t change and what you can.
What have you got to lose?
You are not alone! We are all in this together!!
Tags: accountability, choice-making, Dilemmas, Dr. Rosie Kuhn, Empowerment, Fear, fulfillment, new normal, normal, oneness, Paradigm Shifts, projection, responsibility, self-empowerment, serenity prayer, Transformation, Transformational Coaching
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